I think I can explain the Red Sox current losing skid

I think there's been a tragic mix-up and somehow the Sox skipper got switched with world's shortest man, He Pingping of China.

All I can say is that there are going to be some very disappointed freak show customers who walk into the show expecting to see the world's shortest man and instead get presented with the 6 foot+ Tito Francona in a red mini-bow tie and cummerbun.