Hey Phil, the jerk store called...

It looks like Phil Mushnick's from New Braunfels, TX, cuz this little article REEKS of lameness. Seriously Phil, why don't you write your next article about outlawing hot dogs at ballgames because a few poor schlubs have choked to death on hot dogs over the years. Or better yet, maybe they should start using tennis balls and duct-taped wiffle bats to avoid injuries caused by homeruns hit into the stands and broken bats that fly over the dugout into the box seats. Phil gives his readers an open invitation to call him a party pooper at the start of the article- I'll gladly take him up on the offer. Once he's done hating on t-shirt guns, he moves on the bash Mike & Mike because of their affinity for testicle jokes. Everyone knows testicle jokes are funny. Yeesh, and I thought Dan Shaughnessy was an ass.