Your mom wears Crocs

I thought footwear couldn't get any more abysmal than those swiss-cheesed rubber abominations called Crocs. My dad wears them. I will never stop making fun of him for this. I don't care if they're comfortable. They look like you're wearing a car from a Dr. Seuss book that got caught in a driveby shooting.

Well, my fine feety friends, things just got worse. While building a shoe model off of the anatomical design of a human foot MIGHT make sense functionally, A) it defeats the purpose of a shoe and B) looks downright retarded.