Hey Anthony, the jerk store called...

Anthony Blow, step right up- you're the next contestant on Wheel of Dirtbags. The grand prize is a first-class meeting with my fist. For those of you that don't know, thanks to a little accident in college, my fist is about 5 cubic inches of steel-reinforced punishment. Seriously, I've never had such an unwavering desire to pummel anyone this badly before.

I'm a dog enthusiast... I like dags. Walking down the streets of New York every day, I fall in love about 25 times a day. Not with people, but with dogs. I have a soft-spot for the furry critters and I'm absolutely not shy about it. Maybe it's because I grew up in a family that always had a dog (or two)? Maybe I was pulled out of a ditch by a heroic dog in my pre-memory-forming hours of life and now unconsciously feel the need to repay the Canine species with unadulterated respect? Maybe I had a hex put on me by a mischievous fairy? I don't know. All I know is I've never met a dog I didn't like. Anthony Blow's behavior is just WAY beyond unacceptable to me. To make matter's worse, he showed no remorse whatsoever and stated that the little pooch was his property and he could do whatever he wanted with it- including throw it down a seven story chute.

It's times like these when I really pray for some poetic justice. I fantasize about this guy getting devoured by a pack of wild dogs. I yearn for him to get tossed down a seven story trash chute by a 7-foot dog. I would love for Lucky-boy to grow up to be a famous dog-actor slash rapper that makes millions of dollars and rubs it in Phillip's face.

Maybe Spider-Dog will swoop in and give his canine-abusing ass a taste of web...

Damn it feels good to have Peyton

Damn it feels good to have three Superbowl rings is more like it. I'm really excited for the game this weekend - I think it will be a knock down, drag out battle. The Colts are weaker than usual this year, but you really can't discount the fact that they beat us the last two times we've played them. I was actually even approaching this game with a sense of respect for the Colts, who usually make me fifteen shades of angry. Then I saw THIS video- and one or two others just like it. Who knew folks in Indianapolis knew how to use a computer?? The arguments in this video are non-sensical and have nothing to do with football. Bruschi likes fat chicks? and he has a hairy chest??? Corey Dillon has rabbit balls? Say that to his face and watch how quickly he stiff arms you to an early grave. Of course this weenie Colts fan whips out the old fallback insult - Brady's gay. Not only was he recently dating Bridget Moynihan, who's not to shabby, but now he's canoodling with one of the hottest models in the world. If that's gay then someone sew me a pink nerckerchief, quick!

If anyone prefers men, it's the eleder Manning brother, who probably opts to study film and look at chalkboard drawings of X's and O's instead of knockin' boots. Yeah, I bet it does feel good to have Peyton.... inside of you. I'm all fired up anow and I really can't wait 'til Brady leads a last second winning drive against the Colts this Sunday. I hate the Colts.

It's my knee in a box!

Given the recent development with Tony Allen and his torn ACL, medial meniscus and lateral meniscus, Brain Scalabrine's bruised meniscus and strained MCL (who cares? not me) and now THIS!

I figure that it's about agood a time as anyfor a medical lesson. Here's a full diagram of the ligaments in a knee:

(Quick note: Cruiciate Ligaments makes up the ACL, front side, and the PCL, back side. The Collateral Ligaments on the inner side of the knee is the medial, or the MCL, and the outer side Collateral Ligaments is the Lateral, or the LCL.)

Hope that's helpful- as someone with fairly healthy knees I know I had to do a little research before I understood the full scope of these injuries. In regards to Tony's injury, Doc Rivers - not a real doctor, he just plays one on TV - is optimistic about his recovery because he apparently suffered an identical injury during his own career. Real doctors aren't quite as optimistic.

Rodney's injury, while it's a slight tear and isn't nearly as serious, is equally disappointing. Everyone knows it takes the older folk a little while longer to heal and this development indicates that we'll certainly be without our beastly strong safety for the duration of our stay in the playoffs- including (fingers crossed) the Superbowl. The Pats are a very resilient team, and Roddy will still be a motivational stud on the sideline, but this definitely stings a little.

I hope you've found this little bit to be informative - and if you're a Boston fan, probably upsetting - we now return to your regularly scheduled thoughtless and sophomoric program.

Patriots E-mail Smackdown - courtesy of myself and the Popkin-iest of them all

Earlier this week, Popnuts realized how badly he missed me. He missed my laugh, he missed my scent, my musk, he missed being near me and when it's all sorted out he wants to get an apartment with me. Most importantly, he missed talking about the Patriots with me. He came up with the brilliant idea to have an e-mail exchange conversation about the upcoming game against the Chargers and then jointly post it on both of our blogs. So here it is in all of it's glory - click the link below, sit back and get a ready as we bust a big email-y load all over ya grill.



http://whatisrobertokelly.blogspot.com/2007/01/honest-male-back-and-forth-scotty-b.html